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In The Zone

Friday, 16 July 2004

Second Thoughts
Mood:  happy
I am really happy today. Finally things are starting to turn around for me.

Kevin found a job as a truck driver and were moving into a trailer park in Fresno. NOT! Actually we found a home on Mulholland, but now it appears that it sits on a fault line. Like my life isn't already on a fault line! Like who gives a shit, all of L.A. sits on a fault line. WTF?

Then some pooperazzi took my pic drinking ginseng and told the world it was alcohol. They retracted the story, but now it's my turn to sue their ass off. This makes me feel better about the pooper that got his foot run over. Yeah!

To tell you the truth, Kevin started to get cold feet while we were in Maui. We got in game of volleyball with two teenage girls, and Kev was somewhat apprehensive. I guess he doesn't like the idea of playing with jailbait in bikinis. Well I caught a piece of that draft and was almost ready to call the whole thing off. He is so hard to convince to get involved with what's happening. I really have to push him sometimes.

But we've come a long way since then baby. The wedding will be at the Beverly (definitely not the Onyx). Plans are going smoothly. Just minor glitches here and there.

The rumor is true that I plan to leave 'Hollywood' at the end of the year. I have had enough shit in my life. Now I just want to be the best wife and mother I know how to be. I like the idea of being a soccer Mom. Sorry to my fans, but that is how it has to be. Don't worry about us though. We'll be fine. I got lots of loot to last a century or two. Woooo!!!!


Posted by bsincca at 11:11 AM PDT | Post Comment | Permalink

Monday, 12 July 2004

Groovin
Mood:  chatty
Okay like here's the scoop.

Yeah the knee injury was just a ruse. NOT. It did happen, but it was not as serious as previously thought. However I chose to take advantage of the situation.

You see like Jive is trying to run my life. And they can't. I won't let them! So I faked the knee injury so that Kevin and I could be together. They didn't like that. Well piss on them! Kevin and I recently spent some time in Hawaii far from the maddening crowds. I am more determined than ever to get married to him. It's just right and he is the right guy for me. We get along famously.

Jive wants us to sign prenups. I said "No, I am marrying Kevin because I love him". I don't give a crap about the money. My trash act lately has been sort of a temper tantrum directed at my masters at Jive. I want them to dump me. Well, it won't be long now and they will be history. I have one more album to do for Jive, then I'm going to kick their butts out the door. I will record one more song (maybe two), but all the rest will be Britney's Greatest Hits. Fuck 'em. Then they can kiss my butt! Oh yeah it will be released Nov 16 in time for Xmas.

I finally got Coldplay to say they would do my wedding. It will be the mother of all weddings. Wait and see!

I didn't like that Jason trashed our agreement, but what can I say. He is a dick and all dicks are alike (except for Kevin). Yeah I am very sexual. I can't help it. That's me. Take it or leave it. I ain't no prissy virgin anymore, so there.


Posted by bsincca at 9:12 AM PDT | Post Comment | Permalink

Boo Hoo Booze
Mood:  caffeinated



After a day in Malibu, Kev and I stopped by a liquor store, where I bought a mini bottle of ginseng and chased it with some Red Bull. Some poopernazi says it was a shot of booze! Whoa, did I catch shit for that.


Posted by bsincca at 1:01 AM PDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Thursday, 9 September 2004 4:42 PM PDT

Friday, 9 July 2004

It's My Life, And I'll Do What I Want To
Mood:  sad
I'm feeling a bit hurt today. All things are not going according to plan.

In the beginning Kevin enjoyed my company and the limelight. But now he seems aloof and intimidated by it. Cheez, get over it already. Now he hardly touches me in public and I practically have to lead him by the hand.

We set the date as Nov 20. As for those naysayers, I don't care that 76% of you disagree with me. It's my life, and I'll do what I want to. I'm not marrying you anyway. And as for Justin's comment that I am not the same Britney. Yeah, well right, I've grown up baby; so mosey along the road please. And who gives SFA what Jason thinks?

They are still trying to ram prenups down our throats, but neither of us wants them. I want to give 100% to my husband and he wants to give 100% to me. That's it. That's final.

It's cool that my Mom has decided to accept Kevin and me. It helps a lot just to know that.

Okay, what really hurt is Kevin called me a b_____.
He didn't mean it, but it slipped out. He says that I am trying to control him, and I'm not. I just want us to be happy together.


Posted by bsincca at 1:10 PM PDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, 6 July 2004

Jive Turkeys
Mood:  irritated
Just got the third degree from those Jive turkeys I support. Whoa, am I pissed!

First they wanted Kevin to sign a prenuptial agreement so that he cannot get a hold of any of my money. WTF he's my husband; not theirs! They're acting like its theirs, not mine. They say if I don't sign and we divorce he could get half of everything I own. Plus I would have to support him with alimony, Shar with patrimony and his children with child support. That sux!

Then they also wanted me to sign another business agreement stating that I would not get pregnant until after my tour commitment is fulfilled. Jesus who runs my life anyway?


Posted by bsincca at 8:14 AM PDT | Post Comment | Permalink

Monday, 5 July 2004

Ta-Ta, TaTa
Mood:  amorous
Yeah, well, like it's official now! We're getting married in November a week before my birthday at a large estate (300 acres; that really narrows it down a lot) in L.A. I should be able to walk down the aisle by then.

Like I really wanted to get married at my Mom's place in the other LA., but she has a problem with that. Apparently she is not too fond of Kevin, even though she gave me her blessing. Neither is my Dad. I am having problems with the Jive turkeys i work for too. They don't like the idea that I am going to change my last name to Federline. They say I can't. Come to think of it, who gives a R.A.? It's all about me! Isn't it? This is my marriage and my life! As long as I am happy I don't care. I'll do want I want to.

Kevin's parents are really excited about the wedding.
I never knew there was so much planning involved. Details, details, details! We've tried to limit the guest list to about 200 (like that's only about 50 couples a piece!!), but that is really tough. I don't know what to do. Anybody got some ideas?

Kevin got me the coolest ring! Well, okay, I paid for it: 5 carats; $40,000. Wow! Now, we are house hunting and I am looking for white picket fences. Everything is so real and so unreal at the same time.

Oh BTW, I'm planning to get preggers just as soon as we can by January at the latest. I want to be a mommy now. I can't wait!!!

As for the tour, I dunno. Part of me wants to go on, but part of me wants to settle down. Somebody please, helllp!!!


Posted by bsincca at 1:29 PM PDT | Post Comment | Permalink

Sunday, 4 July 2004

Something Fishy
Mood:  bright



Check out my 5-carat engagement ring. Kewl, huh? Yup Kevin and I were betrothed as it were on June 25. We spent the Fourth of July weekend celebrating in Maui at the Fairmont Kea Lani villa. We hung out on the beach, played in the ocean and went deep-sea fishing too. Plus we did a lot of fishing around for other stuff.


Posted by bsincca at 12:01 AM PDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Thursday, 9 September 2004 5:07 PM PDT

Thursday, 1 July 2004

Pop Goes the Weasel
Mood:  hug me



Okay. Like yesterday we (Kevin and I) were interviewed by People and here's the scoop:

Yes, it was me who initially popped the question to Kevin during our flight back to the United States from Europe.

Kevin was taken by surprise and said, "No.", because he thought the guy was supposed to ask the girl. After a couple minutes went by and then he asked me.

I kind of knew he was going to come back and ask me. And I said yes, of course.
It was kind of special.


Posted by bsincca at 9:54 AM PDT | Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Updated: Wednesday, 8 September 2004 10:48 AM PDT

Wednesday, 30 June 2004

Memories
Mood:  hug me
Walking into the hotel can be quite a task and probably the hardest part of the day for me. With the many fans that have gotten the lead as to where we are staying, some seeking an autograph others just there for the experience. It always seem that when I walk into the hotel there are always the remarks, "Oh She's here again." Or, "Oh my god is that really her?"

I can't lead a normal life, I knew that when I got in there I would have the loss of privacy and the lack of sleep. But it gets really hard when you date one of the biggest teen heartthrobs, Justin Timberlake. And for those of you who are still in the dark as to who I am, I am Britney Spears. Meeting Justin was one of the best things to happen in my life. We met back in the MMC days and it was always great to have a friend to turn to who knew what you were going through. We were similar in age, and we had both started at the same time as each other. I guess looking back on it you could say we were dating. Dating in the sense of what any 12 year old thinks of dating, big groups, the movies that type of stuff. He was my first kiss and we didn't really even think of us as boyfriend, girlfriend. It was more of "Do you like me? I like you. Lets go from there."



While we were just friends at the time I always saw him as more then a friend, but was afraid of ruining the friendship if we took it further. I confided in Fe, my assistant and best friend at the time about what I felt for Justin, how I truly believed that he was the man of my dreams. It turns out at the same time, Justin was telling Lance the same exact things, but like me he didn't want to tell me how he felt for fear of losing me as a friend.
I guess Lance and Fe got fed up with hearing each of us talk about each other and not do anything, so as my time on the *Nsync tour was coming to a close. Fe and Lance put Justin and me in a room and had us tell each other how we felt. We didn't hold anything back, he told me how he thought I was the girl of his dreams and I told him I thought of him the same way. It was that day, almost two and half years ago, that we officially started dating.

People claim we lied about the whole dating thing to our fans, but I don't see it that way. Justin always said it was a decision. When I was ready to tell the world we were dating then that's when we would do it, but only when I was fully ready. I'll admit when we first started dating it was odd. I mean he was my best friend and now he's my boyfriend, but not only that, he was always away from me making it even weirder. The main reason I didn't immediately go and tell everyone we were dating the first chance I could was because like everyone else that's starting a relationship things weren't very certain. Everything seemed so good to be true that I was waiting for it to fall apart any minute. If it did fall apart then you'd have the pressure of the media with all these questions and that's something I just didn't want to face.

Another major reason I didn't want to tell the fans was, both Justin's and my career were taking off. This type of announcement could lose fans or just totally ruin our careers. I could forever be known as "Justin Timberlake's Girlfriend" or he could be known as "Britney Spears' Boyfriend." That chance of never really getting a name for ourselves was kind of scary and something I didn't want. I wanted to be known as Britney Spears and he as Justin Timberlake, with successful careers in the entertainment business that we both worked for ourselves. I didn't want to hear people saying things like He used me or I used him if one of us got bigger then the other. Emotionally that would do something to you because you worked so hard for something and then you're being told you didn't do any of the work and someone else did. The third and final reason we kept it for so long was honestly I was afraid for my safety. Justin's fans at the time weren't very stable and making an announcement like that who knows what would happen. The fans, his fans, have a vision that he is single and waiting for them. Some still have this idea but not as many as before. Having them find out their future husband is taken they could have harmed him or me during a concert, walking down the street or just shopping. Neither one of us wanted to risk our lives so we kept it a strict secret between us and anyone else that knew of what we were doing.

I can't tell you how hard it is to date someone but yet you have to deny any ideas that you are. This got so hard the more serious our relationship got. He and I would be cuddling and kissing one night, watching a movie just doing what regular couples does.Yet the next night or a day or so later we have to go to some awards show, I can't go with him and I most certainly can't sit with him. If he does walk over to me to talk or something the fans that are there make a huge deal out of it. It's just so much easier to pretend we don't even know each other at those types of events. We talked it over and decided, no eye contact, no talking and most certainly never looking in the other person's direction. We were doing what the fans wanted, denying true love so we could do what we wanted to do, live out our dreams.

A year into our relationship, for my birthday Justin gave me a promise ring. He had a matching ring made up for him. As soon as he gave it to me I wanted to slip it on my ring finger and never ever take it off. I was that certain he was the one I wanted. Before I permentantly placed the ring there Justin reminded me that rumors were going around about us dating, a ring on my ring finger would make people thing we were engaged. Instead of my ring finger, I slipped it on my pinky. Justin did the same with his. But for some odd reason he decided that my nickname should be pinky to stand for the ring that I promised to wear forever on that finger.
The fans, both Justin's and mine are a lot smarter then we think they are. They can pick up on something no matter how well we try to hide it. Within days of each of us wearing the rings they had it spread all over the news, and Internet, and we weren't even in the same part of the country. I don't believe for one moment that we fooled anyone with our "we're just friends" answer to every question about us dating. What it did do though was soften the blow for the fans that would maybe take it a little harder.

Finally what seemed like forever I got tired of hiding it and went to talk to Justin who as I said earlier instantly went along with what I wanted. We decided that the 2000 VMA's was the place to come clean, or at least start the beginning of publicly dating. We were going to sit next to each other during the show. What a relief it was to sit with him and not half way across the room from him. I could finally be with my boyfriend, hold hands and whisper comments to him. After that appearance we made no attempt to hide any further engagements. If we wanted to do something together we no longer had to go to great odds to hide it. We just went out and did it, which made life so much easier for me and for him. We had decided not to release a statement about us dating. I mean whose business is it anyways. We just figured that when one of us was asked we'd just casually say, "Yes we are." And leave it at that. Justin was the first asked about us dating. It was the Rosie O'Donnell Show in November of 2000. A fan had sent in a question asking if he was REALLY dating Britney Spears. There was a slight pause as he looked over to who knows where and answered simply "Yeah." At that moment most of the people in the audience cheered and Rosie went on to the next question. She didn't pry in further to our relationship just left it at that. Now everything that needed to be done was done and we could just start working on us.

It's really hard to say how Justin and I keep such a strong relationship. We hardly see each other and when we do it's only for a few days at a time. I guess you could say it's the little things he does, like sending flowers if he heard I was having a bad day or if I called him up all upset about something. The lack of time we do get together has made us both realize how special we are to each other. I feel so blessed to have someone who understands exactly what I am going through. If something comes up and I told him we'd go out he understands that this job is so unpredictable.

As of the summer of 2001 both of our careers had really taken off. *Nsync was bigger now than they ever were before, and they deserved everything they have and so much more. And I was working on my movie that would appear sometime in the spring of 2002. With our money Justin and I both brought a house in Los Angeles together. I'm sure you're all wondering what my mom would say about this. That's the thing we didn't tell her until the house was bought and in both of our names. There isn't much she can say when it's already done and I'm 19. Justin and I aren't in Los Angeles too much at the same time, so it's not like we're really living together we own a house together. Upon buying the house together and occasionally staying together lead to the question of, "are you two still virgins?" That is the most personal question you could ask anyone and I'm sick of being asked that. If Justin and I have done anything together that is between us and only us. I refuse to tell the world about any sexual acts I do with him. And with that note I'm moving on.


Posted by bsincca at 1:01 AM PDT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Wednesday, 8 September 2004 10:25 AM PDT

Tuesday, 29 June 2004

JL without the O
Mood:  cheeky
Today I thought I would let my little sis blog for me. Got any questions JL?

Yeah. Do you still love Justin and would you marry him if he asked you now?


Posted by bsincca at 9:39 AM PDT | Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink

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